Monday, December 7, 2009

"Unfriend"

Current Mood: Hitting the end-of-year fatigue wall

Current Song: Rain by Creed (just heard it today. Makes my heart smile).

Today's post was actually inspired by Matt Wells' Daily Fix moment (He's inspired, and a hottie!). Every year the New Oxford American Dictionary names a Word of the Year that describes the general mood/trend of the year.

This year's word of the year is: Unfriend
Definition: -verb- to remove someone as a friend from a social networking site such as facebook.

If you've been reading my blog this year, I've been talking a lot about change, out with the old, in with the new, bygones and such. I think that the dictionary could not have picked a more apt word.

For me, this year has been full of internal changes as I seek to forgive, forget, plan, restrategize, let go, start anew. Some of it has to do with people, others with ideas I have of myself.

Lucky for me, it's also the beginning of a new decade. This seems to be an opportune time to put aside all of the things that have clouded my mind the last decade. It was a tumultuous one, as I finally entered my 20's and started to really discover what I was about and who I really was. There were many firsts experienced, many mistakes made, many opportunities to grow. I wear my scars with some amount of pride. They're a testament for all the various things that haven't held me back. In fact, I feel better about it now.

I'm planning (hopefully), to have a symbolic ceremony on new year's eve this year. I plan to put out everything that needs to be let go (I just have to figure out how to do this efficiently). This year has been real progress in terms of these things. I hope to finally put all of my hang-ups aside. I hope, especially to forgive. I think that I've decided what I can live without, and it's a good time to set myself free. It's time to unfriend those thoughts.

Should I go through it, I will definitely blog about it.

Time to prepare for a new year. Hopefully one that will rock in so many ways. And hopefully one from which I continue to grow and learn.

So, dear readers, will you be "unfriending"?

12 comments:

Grace Boyle said...

It's so interesting that defriending (let's say an action on Facebook) can be pretty symbolic and deep.

My motto as of late is "Cut the bullshit." I don't have time for insincerity or dishonest people and unfortunately, many people are like that. However, many of my friends have always been steadfast and never give me a reason to doubt them. I strive to keep that honesty and authenticity around me. It's also important to note that friends can take up different roles in your life and that's okay. There are some friends I have that I love, but I don't really rely on them for the deep trust stuff, mostly to enjoy life and laugh together.

Mehnaz said...

Grace, that's become my motto increasingly over the last little while.

I agree, friends play different roles absolutely. But then there are those people who are rather in the category of fairweather friends, and if they cause you pain, go back to the motto :)

Thanks for commenting!

Emily Jasper said...

I love the idea of having some kind of ceremony, out with the old, in with the new. I think you'll feel good about the future when you do that. While we should look back occasionally, instead of dwelling, it should be a push to move forward. Good luck!

Mehnaz said...

Thanks Em!
I'll keep the blogosphere posted :)
And agreed about dwelling. It doesn't do any good living in the past.

Karim Kanji said...

I think I'll be friending more. As usual a great thought-provoking post!

Have a rockin' 2010!

Mehnaz said...

I'm unfriending thoughts, mostly KK, so I can have good ones in 2010. And I can make room for more awesome people like you :)

Anonymous said...

Hmm...So your rethinking things that you have said to others..I think that is a beautiful gift! I lost my husband nine years ago, to cancer. I think of everything my children never got to say to their dad. I also am glad they never had the chance to say anything that they would never have the chance to take back or unfriend as you are saying. I believe GOD will be smiling on you if you unfriend all the bad..good luck Mehnaz

Mehnaz said...

Oh no, I think you've got it a bit mixed up, anon. I rarely say things I don't mean. I only say things with careful thought. I don't get mad very often, unless my nerves have been frayed, and I've been hurt.

I'm planning to forgive and forget. I don't regret much. It's only in forgetting that we set ourselves free from our own demons.

Beth Oppenheim said...

Beautifully put! Every year on New Years Eve I go to a body of water (last year, the East River in NYC), and toss away a list of things I want to let go of, and goals for the year, kind of a separating thing.

It is very liberating and helpful. I am so glad that you are thinking of doing something like this. I think it's so important to be able to let go, or "unfriend."

Mehnaz said...

Beth,

Thanks for sharing your story with me, and thank you for sharing my journey (same goes for the rest of ya's).
I look forward to it. My sister Zoyah will be joining in as well, so I'll definitely do a New Year's post about it :)

Mum said...

Mehnaz,

I usually read your blogs in silent awe, but I just had to comment on this one.

I would never have expected you to have grown up so beautifully and become such a wise and forgiving daughter.

The first thing that I do in the morning is read your blog and I have fully understood what you were getting across in this one.
The "Unfriend" blog entry was a testiment to how you have grown and changed and are ready to start a new, successful and free life.

I am so proud of you for "unfriending" all the needless things in your life. It will make you even more successful in the future. I could not ask for a more beautiful and understanding daughter. You are my rock.

Love always,

Mum

Mehnaz said...

Thanks Ma!

You're pretty awesome yourself!
Thanks for commenting. Let's all have a fab new year.

M
(PS: There are no cupcakes here. Please refer to the other one's blog for those).

:D